5 Things Buyers Should Never Say to a Seller

Real estate is a poker game. You have your cards (your budget, your timeline), and the seller has theirs. The goal is to get the house you want for the lowest price possible.

But many buyers—especially first-timers—accidentally show their hand. They get excited, they get chatty, and they say things during a showing or an open house that completely destroy their negotiating leverage.

Remember: The listing agent works for the seller. Anything you say to them will be used against you.

Here are 5 phrases you should ban from your vocabulary when touring a home.

1. "This is my dream home!"

Why you shouldn't say it: You just told the seller that you are emotionally attached. The Consequence: If the seller knows you are in love with the house, they know you will pay more. They won't be afraid to counter your offer at full price or refuse to fix the broken AC unit. They know you aren't walking away. What to say instead: "It has a lot of potential. It’s on our shortlist." (Play it cool.)

2. "I can afford up to $X."

Why you shouldn't say it: You are at an open house listed for $800,000. You casually mention to the agent, "Yeah, we are approved up to $900,000, so this is well within budget." The Consequence: You just set your price floor. If you offer $800,000, the agent will tell the seller: "Don't accept it. They told me they can afford $900,000. Counter at $850,000." What to say instead: "We are looking at homes in this price range."

3. "My lease is up next month, so we need to move fast."

Why you shouldn't say it: You just revealed your deadline. The Consequence: Desperation is expensive. If the seller knows you are homeless in 30 days, they have all the leverage. They can push for a shorter inspection period, refuse repairs, or demand a higher price because they know you don't have time to start the search over. What to say instead: "We are flexible on timing. We want to find the right house."

4. "Why are you selling?" (Asked directly to the seller)

Why you shouldn't say it: This seems like an innocent question, but it can backfire if you ask it to the seller's face during a showing. The Consequence: It can come off as intrusive or suspicious. If the reason is sensitive (divorce, death, financial trouble), you might make the seller uncomfortable or defensive. An emotional seller is harder to negotiate with. What to do instead: Have your agent ask the listing agent privately. Agents can get the real scoop ("They are relocating for work and need to sell ASAP") without making it awkward.

5. "I'm planning to gut the kitchen/tear down that wall immediately."

Why you shouldn't say it: Sellers are often emotionally attached to their homes. They raised their kids there. They picked out that wallpaper. The Consequence: If you walk around criticizing the decor or talking about how you are going to demolish their "hard work," you might offend them. In a multiple-offer situation, sellers have been known to reject the highest offer simply because they didn't like the buyer's attitude. What to say instead: Keep your renovation plans to yourself until you own the deed. Compliment the care they have taken of the home.

The Golden Rule: Silence is Golden

When you are in the house, assume you are being watched (Ring cameras are everywhere) and listened to.

Save your excitement, your critiques, and your financial strategy for the car ride home. Let your agent do the talking. Your job is to look like a serious, qualified buyer who is interested—but willing to walk away. That is how you win.